Emotional abuse is a hidden type of abuse. It has a way of creeping up on you and loudly lurking in a dark corner of your relationship.

Its signs can be confusing. You may find yourself questioning if what you’ve been dealing with is all in your mind or if you are being “overly sensitive” or “overanalyzing”. 

This list will give you a clear overview of some of the not so obvious signs of emotionally abusive behaviors.

Giving you the silent treatment

Withholding affection to embarrass and/or punish you

Feeling as if you are “walking on eggshells”—- constantly finding yourself carefully choosing your words and behaviors so not to “upset” them.

Accusatory speech—- “Who was he, where do you know him from? Why did he hug you? I saw how you were looking at him, don’t lie to me!”

Directing mean jokes to you or constantly making fun of you to make you feel devalued 

Your feelings are not acknowledged  

Being cursed at 

Threatening physical harm

Demeaning you in front of friends, family, or others

Using sarcasm or mocking tones

Laughing at you

Excessive cheating (more than once)

Raising their voice to intimidate you 

Intimidating body language—giving you disapproving or scornful looks 

Making subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you

Blatantly disrespecting you, then accusing you of being “too sensitive” or “insecure”

Name calling— speaking to you in a way that is disguised as “teasing” or using pet names in a demeaning way to make you feel inferior.

Losing their temper and then blaming you for their actions and behavior 

Isolating you from special events and friends and family 

Sexual manipulation

Starting rumors to negatively affect your reputation 

Trivializing— “What are you talking about? You make zero sense. You sound crazy right now! You don’t listen!”

Circular arguments— subtly administering punishment or revenge towards you by bringing up unresolved past issues to start an argument 

Your direct questions are ignored and they walk away without answering you or saying they “don’t have time for this.”

When you are made to feel confused, have self-doubt, and question your sanity— when your perception of reality is constantly being twisted.

In conversations, your thoughts and feelings are dismissed while you are constantly interrupted while trying to make your point.

Refusing to communicate or cooperate. Deliberately distancing themselves from you, avoiding contact and engagement with you as a form of punishment and control for them to appear more mature or rational than you.